Mental Junk

Facebook – you dirty rat!  Where is Michelle's profile gone??!!!???

ACCOUNT DISABLED!!???!

We got in last night at 12:30am (so… that would be this morning, then, right?).  The trip out was fantastic.  The boys were great in the car.

On the way home, however, Cameron just had enough and wanted his bed.  I don't blame him – I felt the same way, but I didn't cry (I just whined a lot and drove on the sleepy bars).

I felt bad for the guy, but there wasn't anything we could do.  Stopping the car just gave him a little reprieve,  but he still had to get back in to finish the journey.  We made it home and he simply whimpered quietly as I brought him straight in from the car to his bed.  I felt horrible for keeping him up so late – but it really is worth it.

The girls are simply amazing.  I love watching them interact – they are very well behaved and articulate!  I don't get to see many kids like them.  I hope Michelle and I do half a good a job as Gary and Jodi.

I tried to get Jodi to perform her 'Running Man' – but alas, she didn't want international fame.  She had this crazy idea I'd upload it to youtube.  I have no clue what gave her that idea. 

Tomorrow we are heading into Chatham to visit friends family.

It is approximately three and a half hours one way.  So, we have about 7 hours in the car ahead of us.  Neither of the boys have had to sit in the car that long without breaks, so this will be an experience.

I am expecting to have to make frequent stops if the boys are bored – just to get them out and look around at different scenery – otherwise they may (probably will) get cranky.

Years ago, Michelle and I both loved long car trips.  When we got our first car that is all we did.  We drove to Niagra Falls at 3 in the morning just for something to do.  We talked back then about making our kids come along for the long rides – eventually ending up camping or hiking.  So far, it just hasn't happened.  I know – they are only one and two – but still.  I was expecting a couple long trips in their lives already.

We'll see how they do – and whether we want to torture ourselves again like this.

I've been getting a lot of interest in the automatic Twitters I have
set up.  People are curious how I've done it and what it is about.

update:  the link to the feed is http://twitter.com/fortune_mod

Basically, I set up an automatic twitter every half hour, Monday to
Friday between 9am and 5pm.  These tweets are from a linux/unix program written by
many people over the years called Fortune.

Fortune is a simple program which pulls random entries from a database
of quotes, sayings, or anything else of trivial importance.  I believe the
original intent of the program was to provide a fortune cookie for
users who logged into a computer or other similar activity.  Over the
years I have seen it used more as being a generator for tag lines in emails
than anything else.  Each time an email is sent, a new fortune is
used as the tag line at the bottom of emails.  There are many tutorials
available to get this working on many email clients.

I was looking into the programmer's interface that is supplied by the
folks at Twitter and wanted to set up an automatic twitter.  I am using
fortune mainly because it's readily available.  I decided to write a
simple PHP script that would call fortune, and use the returned text as
the source of a posted tweet.  Here is the code:

// Auto Twitter feed
$message = shell_exec('fortune -s -n 140'); // Get a fortune that is less than 140 characters long
$message = urlencode($message); // encode the message to pass to Twitter
$curl_handle = curl_init(); 
curl_setopt($curl_handle, CURLOPT_URL, 'http://twitter.com/statuses /update.xml');
// Set to use the XML interface
curl_setopt($curl_handle, CURLOPT_RETURNTRANSFER, 1);
curl_setopt($curl_handle, CURLOPT_POST, 1); // POST instead of GET
curl_setopt($curl_handle, CURLOPT_POSTFIELDS, \"source=$source&status=$message\" ) ; 
curl_setopt($curl_handle, CURLOPT_USERPWD, $USER_NAME . ':' . $PASSWORD);
$buffer = curl_exec($curl_handle); // Send the tweet
curl_close($curl_handle); // Clean up

The next step is to add a cron job which would run the PHP script every half hour.  Cron is a program which runs every minute and looks at a table of entries to determine if there are any applications, scripts or processes that should be run.  Using Cron, you can make programs run automatically at different times, daily, weekly, monthly or every other day even.  For this, I want it to run every half hour only durning business hours.  Here is the cron entry:

*/30 9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17 * * * /usr/bin/php ~/twitter.php

Hope this helps!

Having a discussion the other day with a good friend we came across the word manipulate.  This is a word which in the context of getting other people to do what we want – has a negative connotation attached.  Don't get me wrong here – I don't want to loose the bad press that word has received – but I also don't want to avoid it.

If we intend to try to convince someone of doing something they normally won't do or intended to do – that is manipulation.  What our intentions are – that is where malice can lie.

I manipulate my son into doing things every day.  I hold up a toy and draw his attention away from the electrical plug he recently became aware of.  Or I move toys he is reaching for further out of his way so he has to crawl towards it.  I know – you say that's different – you are teaching him and keeping him safe.  Yes, that is true.  However, I am doing so through manipulation.  More specifically through misdirection and baiting, but those are just methods.

We are manipulated all the time.  Through advertising, the media in general, our employers and, yes, or family and friends.  The thing we have to be cognizant about is the intention behind these behavioral changes. The danger is when we no longer see the manipulations (or in many cases, never see) or recognize their sources.

The fear that I have is that we start recognizing the negative connotations that get associated with words and we become afraid to use those words – instead of looking for the root of the evil and fixing the actual problem. I saw a lot of this throughout the mid to late 90's during the political correct phase. As soon as a word is recognized in an unfavorable way, we stop using it and move on to another, cloaked form or phrase of the word. This solves nothing. At best, it masks a deeper problem within our society and at worst it makes our language more convoluted and ultimately meaningless.

So, go ahead – continue to manipulate the people around you. Just take a good look into your soul and determine the reason behind it. Is it to benefit you? Or them? If you can't tell the difference – then don't do it.

Okay – so…  I'm a geek.

I spend my time trying to get my website to automatically post tweets – and now update my status on Facebook.

If you got here from my face status – then this time has been well spent. 

This morning, I wanted to get some photos of Nate on his birthday, but he wasn't awake as I was leaving for work.

I decided to torture him on his birthday by shoving a camera in his face to wake him up.  I wouldn't worry too much – he will seek retaliation before too long (it's not like I don't deserve it anyway).   To make sure things are all equal between brothers, I woke Cameron up as well.

Cameron is getting to the age that he has figured out he can make decisions about what he wants to do – not just figuring out that he CAN do something.

The other day we came home and I told him to take off his shoes and we will sit for dinner.  Michelle was at work, so it was just the three of us home.  Cam decided to go off and play instead of taking off his shoes – I told him to take off his shoes before he headed into the living room – as soon as he crossed over into the dining room with his shoes off – I told him 'That's it – you are sitting in the chair until you take off your shoes'.  That was the start of his hour and a half stubborn screaming session.

As soon as it started – I knew it would no longer be a quiet night – I also knew that I had to stick to my guns.  The thing is – it is such a dumb thing to get angry over – but not to a two year old.  That is the only form of independence he has in his mind.

Nate and I tried to sit and have our dinner while Cameron sat on the kitchen chair stubbornly not taking off his shoes.  After a while, Cameron realized that he wasn't getting dinner and we were – which started a fresh bout of screaming.  I felt bad for the kid – all he had to do was take off his shoes.  Something he has been able to do for probably a year now.  It was at that point I started questioning my parenting skills.  What the heck am I being so stubborn about?  It's just shoes, after all!  Here is this poor kid – hungry and obviously tired, and here I am – not letting him eat his dinner.  That's when I got a recharged sense of stubbornness.  I will not give in to have him do the same thing two years from now over cleaning his room.  I will not let him win when I tell him to clean his room and he cries or says no.

I've seen it all too often from other kids – they get what they want if they just keep at it.  "Mom, can I have the candy?" 'No.' "Mom, can I have the candy?" 'No.' "Mom, can I have the candy?" 'No.' "Mom, can I have the candy?" 'No.' "Mom, can I have the candy?" 'FINE!!' …. and off they go.  Happily getting their own way – becoming more of a brat every time.

So – there we were – Cameron crying in his chair, me telling him patiently and as calmly as I could that he could get down and have dinner if he just took off his shoes – and Nathan just sitting there trying to figure out what was going on.  Eventually Cameron gave in partially and took off one shoe.  After I congratulated him for taking off his shoe – he promptly jumped down from the chair.  I stood up – and calmly picked him up to place back in the chair – I didn't want to scold him or show any aggression or in any way discourage him – but, he still needed to take off his other shoe. Once he realized that I wouldn't let him down for just one shoe – he started screaming again and I didn't want to even raise my voice to tell him he just had to take the other shoe off.  After a moment he settled and I tried to encourage him for taking one shoe off, but point out he still needed to take off the other – the stubborn bum said 'No'.  So, his stubborn father said 'then no dinner until you do'.

Things didn't calm down until he fell asleep.  The peace lasted for about 15 minutes – Nathan just finished his bottle and was dozing quietly, Cameron had cried himself to sleep – and I was enjoying the quiet.

Once Cam woke up, he was calmer and more compliant.  He reached down and only whimpered a bit to take off his remaining shoe.  I said he could get down – and he did.  I then picked him up and gave him a hug to let him know I wasn't mad, then set him down in his highchair with his dinner.

I hope I am doing the right thing, but will only know for sure in a few years if the boys are well behaved or not.  They may need therapy – but they will be paying for it if they do

I became disillusioned with birthdays somewhere in my teens.  It was a
harsh discovery to find out that birthdays don't mean much to people
outside of your immediate family and friends.  You don't get the day
off school – you don't get special treatment from those around you –
rent is still due and you don't get gifts from strangers.

This forced me to reevaluate my whole value system regarding
birthdays.  What do they matter, really?  It's just a form of date
calculation and time to renew your license.  It is merely an excuse to
get together and celebrate – for some – your existence – for others –
your involvement in their life.  To me – it doesn't really matter. 
Should I not be showing you how much I care about you all year long? 
Do you really need something more for me to show you my affection
towards you?  If you do – then I am not much of a friend to you.  You
should already know – otherwise I've failed in showing you that.

I face a personal dilemma when it comes to ceremony and ritual.  I
want to know why the ritual exists – what does it mean?  I want to make
sure I agree with the reasons behind it before I participate, or even
condone it.  I know – that sounds as though what I say affects the
decisions of others – and I know it doesn't – but I still want to be
true to myself and make sure that I am not hypocritical about things –
which is so hard to do – but I have a lifetime to stomp them out of
myself.Anyway – I am getting off topic.

When it comes to birthdays – I want to make sure the people I care
about know I care about them without having to note their birthdays in
anyway.  If I forget (and I probably will) their birthday and not get a
card or call – I don't want them to get hurt feelings because they
think I don't care.  If I am a good friend to them – they should never
question whether I care about them – even if I let their birthday pass
without remark.  They should just think (to themselves or even to their
friends) "oh, that's just Rob.  He just doesn't care about birthdays. 
It's not that he doesn't care about me".

Now – with all that said – I am aware that some people place a lot more
stock in birthdays than I – and I do try to keep that in mind and wish
a happy birthday or call or whatever. That just ends up causing more
problems if I forget their birthday the following year – so what, I
don't care anymore?  Or what if I forget their birthday – but remember
their sibling's?  More likely – I forgot both of them – but was
reminded of the latter by a friend (more likely my wife – I love the
date reminder feature on her).

This gives me an interesting position when it comes to teaching my
kids.  I want to teach them that people place a lot of emotional stock
in birthdays – but your birthday only has to be as special as you make
it out to be.

I've been a dad for two years – holy crap.

Happy birthday Cameron.