Mental Junk

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, An he maded the skiez An da Urf, but he no eated it.

2 The Urfs wus witout shapez An wus dark An scary An stufs, An he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark An not tripz ovr nethin. an Ceiling Cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. Teh evning An morning was teh first day.

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh ceilingz of waterz, with waterz up An waterz down. An he maded hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up, An stuff.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so evning An morning was teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all no waterz into ur base, so no waterz wus not wetted An Ceiling Cat hadz teh dry placez cuz cats dusnt lieks to get wet,10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urths and waters oshunz, so tehre.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, wants grass An stuff! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish teh good stuff, so, letz tehre be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)13 An so teh evning An the morning of the threeth day.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the firmmint for dividing day from no day.15 So tehre, lights everwaer, like chrissmass, wai.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two greate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screweth tehm on firmmint, with big nails An stuff.18 An Ceiling Cat sawed it wus the goodz, so wai.19 An so teh evning An the morning of the furth day.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz teh waterz brings forht the loots An stuff, An phishes, An burdies, that flyeths over the no waterz An swimmeths in the waterz.21 An Ceiling Cat created big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they not mooed, An other stuffs that gives the mooves, An Ceiling Cat wuz plezed.22 An Ceiling Cat sented them hais, An stuff, so letz u be happy An stuff. And0 sed all u aminals An burdiez An fishz go has baby aminals An brrdz An fishz An dont worry i wont watch u has sexxes, cept 4 SUPRIZE BUTTSECKZ!!!!!!!23 An so teh evning n the morning of the fifth day

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has mor living stuff, mooes, An creepz, An otehr animuls, so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh cute, An let min has dominion An stufs becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps ish like him, can has can openers he did tehm, min An womin wuz created, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sented them hais, so teh ballz An teh multiplyers, An haz teh dominion on teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry thingz An stuff.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Yo, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. an Ceiling Cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz. 50$ plez

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.

Please contribute to the Bible Translation :http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1

I almost lost my wife twice during the course of the last few weeks. I don't know what I would be doing right now if things had turned out differently. Blogging on Facebook probably wouldn't be in the list.
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She could have slipped away right after child birth due to hemorrhaging – right after Cameron came into the world. He had a slew of nurses and staff all making sure he was doing okay, while mom held my hand. It may sound calloused, harsh, or even evil-parent-in-the-making, but I was more concerned with Michelle than I was with Cameron.

Quite simply, I've known and loved her longer.

A lot of emotions came flooding through me after she was wheeled away. I felt cheated – Michelle and I were supposed to grow old together.

The saying that goes something like "you don't know what you have until you loose it" may be accurate – even though I know exactly what I have. Michelle completes me. She keeps me honest and grounded. She is my sounding board when I have important decisions to make. She is my confidant and best friend. She is my companion, my love and now the mother of my child. There is no way for me to describe to you fully what she means to me – nor how I truly feel about her.

If things had turned out differently I know Cameron and I would have the support of my friends and our family. The loss would have been immeasurable.

Cameron is the product of a loving and caring relationship.

If that was the lesson I was supposed to have learned – I already knew that.

Here’s a little story of a bird named Cody.
Cody. One Lucky Dude.

Cody was a lost little creature all alone in the world.

Found by chance, in a McDonald’s parking lot by a young couple.

“Is that a real bird? Or did some idiot glue a stuffed bird to their bumper?” I asked, pointing to a brilliant yellow bird perched on an SUV’s back bumper. I slowed the car down as I pulled up next to the vehicle in question.

My wife peered through her window at the vibrant little bird. It was obvious that this was not a native habitant to the area and must have been someone’s pet. Just as I was about to continue on she exclaimed “No – that’s a real bird”.

I threw the car into park and jumped out the door. Leaving my door open and the car running, I approached this hapless animal. At first it didn’t react – it just cocked it’s head at me as I reached out slowly for it. It was about then that the owners of the SUV emerged from the nearby restaurant. Expecting to find something amiss with their vehicle, what with another car parked directly behind and the driver bolting towards their car, they circled around.

“Is this your bird?” I called out to them, this frightened the little guy into jumping down onto the pavement and proceeded to walk under the car.

“Uh – no. Do you know who’s it is?” The other guy asked in a wary voice. He definitely didn’t want to deal with running over a pet – nor climbing under his car to get it.

“No idea. It’s obviously someone’s pet – he isn’t a wild bird.” I started to get on my hands and knees to coax the bird out from under the vehicle. My wife did the same from the opposite side of the car. The owners of the SUV also dropped and the four of us were waving our arms and lying on our sides or backs trying to gain trust from this cornered soul.

After a few minutes, the bird haphazardly chose my wife and flew directly into her face. Half out of self preservation and half out of luck, she caught the bird by bringing her hands quickly to her face to block the attack. With as much self respect and dignity that one can muster lying on their back with a bird flapping between one’s bosom, she wiggled out from under the vehicle.

After procuring a suitable container from the local restaurant (a child’s meal box) we had (kidnapped?) saved the bird from an inhospitable environment.

After a short trip to the local pet store and even briefer conversation about the possibility of keeping the bird, we now have a new addition to our family.

Life – it’s what happens when you aren’t really paying attention.